Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize