Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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