I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
