dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
