My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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