I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I look excited, but its just a facade.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
