Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
