Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
