I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
