So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
