I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
