I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
