He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
