I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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