I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
