I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
