i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
