I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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