i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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