Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
