that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it because I queefed?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
