i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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