There was a lot of him and a little penis
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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