i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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