will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You were trust falling into bushes
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
