isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
