What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
