and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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