What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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