If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize