my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
