I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize