Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
