but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
