Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize