and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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