I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
