So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why are your pants in the freezer?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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