Capitaan dildo arrescate!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
