Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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