She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Shame - the story of my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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