Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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