i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
and she was petting her beer can
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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