Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
