Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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