when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize