I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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