I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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