It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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