I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
