Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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