i'm signing you up for texting rehab
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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