its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
