She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
