Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
