he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
