great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize