Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize