Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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