Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
