I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
