just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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