did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize