YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
