Your tits are I can't wait for
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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