If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
They took my balls.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
