every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
