have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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