So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
