What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
