birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize