Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
