im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
