Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cannot find my penis.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
