I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
