I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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