U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize