you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
