We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You made out with two different species that night
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
