Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
