I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
