i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
